Sunday, August 23, 2009


we just came back from a vacation. it was really nice to leave the city. fresh air and grass was all the kids needed. they could amuse themselves for hours looking at the flora and fauna. they loved to run around in circles in the grass. they never saw so much space! we live in the ghetto, both jewish and non jewish we live in the 'hood. cramped inside and only a busy side walk outside, there isn't place to run around. in the winter when the kids are in school it is ok. but i wish we could at least use the buildings courtyard. oh well city living.

i didn't bring a lot of toys with me but the kids were occupied with;
  • throw a ball down from the loft and around down the stairs and go look where it fell.
  • Disney channel- no more, i had enough of it,i do not like Hannah Montana
  • run around outside
  • rip grass and throw it on the babies head
  • run out the door as soon as no one is looking so we can play find the toddler
  • run up and down the stairs
of course some things have to go wrong on a family trip. there was a teething baby, cranky 5 year old. and d was sick she was kind enough to throw clear liquid. but she really wasn't herself. the good thing was that we could do quiet activities and i didn't have to worry about her showing her personality. someone said such well behaved children! lol, one took a nap the other got to use the computer and one was in floppy, sick mode. she was really like a life size rag doll. i had to prop her up in the chair in the library.

the next day we were able to go hiking, she stayed with zeide and i didn't have to worry about her jumping too close to the edge. dh with m on his back and me with a 9 month old in the baby carrier and y all made it to the top of the mountain! i didn't think that i would make it up there. the baby is pretty heavy. the first time we did the hike y was 4 months old and dh had him in the baby carrier. i was not in god condition then but we made it. this time i was used to schlepping heavy things and walking. i wasn't sure that y would make it. he never did a longer hike before. he got scared in the middle of the way and had to be schlepped to the top. but he was really proud of himself when he made it. then he jumped all the way down. - we climbed the ridge of mount Mansfield. from the nose area to the chin. it was a lot of fun. but i couldn't move afterward.

m my 2 year old also did some hiking he was very good at it! it was a short hike but it was fun! we hiked down to a river. the kids got soaked, they jumped from rock to rock. they loved it.

we made it home after being in the car for 10 hours. we could have gone to Niagara! it was only supposed to be a 6 hour trip. but they closed on of the highways. so we had to go on a detour. then it was pouring buckets of rain so we couldn't go fast. but we made it home before shabbos.

now its back to regular life.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

shop the shchuna


when the store opened i thought that it would close a year later, remember the kiddi store on albany where mimulo was?

but they lasted longer than that. i wish them well.

i try to shop the shchuna but its hard to when everything is really expensive. i wish they had a boytique for girls. fyi the price on french toast shirts is cheaper than the french toast website. i needed shirts for ds. so i checked around the web and tried boytique.

bh there are people in ch who can pay for kidi couture and i'm glad that the stores on ch have the uniforms so they are guaranteed business but i wish that there was a cheaper option. that is why i shop mall stores
for me gap is on the expensive side. but its a lot cheaper than sonia rykial! or other designer brand. i'm not paying 30$ for a white shirt. i shop the childrens place monster sales! an outfit for a 1! ok it was a baby girls out fit that i found in the outlet store.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009


this is talking about tuition and can a school really be able to help everyone.

speaking about affording tuition. this site is to help 2 boys go to yeshiva.


this word gets me really upset. i am a religious jew. my kids need to go to a religious school. i do not need the fast track to Harvard. i do not need fancy labs or sports complexes. i need a basic education for my children. i looked at the cost of sending my children to school. wow! omg how can anyone afford this? 8,000. that is only for one child. i have more than one k'h. that is the price for pre 1 a- kindergarten- to 5th grade i think that is what it is. i saw advertisements for high school. wow my eyeballs almost popped out 18,000 that is for one child. b'h i have more than one.... how does anyone manage to pay for it? they say that will give a discount 14,000. wow thank you so much! now i can send my child to school. yeah right. the price was based on what it cost to operate the school assuming that the teachers will get really good living wage salaries. i can speak form both sides. a teacher has to be able to get paid. it isn't fair that there are teachers who aren't paid on time. this can go on for months. how will they take care of their families? what about the parents who are working really hard but are not making enough money? 8,000* 4= 32,000. that is a lot of money its not including food shelter clothing etc... 14,000 * 4 = 72,000.
the tuition committees say take out loans, put it on the credit card, sacrifice, sacrifice... what should we scrimp on? food, lights ? ok so maybe there are some people who don't really need the help but there are a lot of people that do. isn't a jewish education important? what if you cannot afford it? public school isn't an option. home school might not work. it depends on the family. what should you do. what bugs me is that there are all of these ads help send a child to school. let them have a jewish education. what about a child already in the community that can't afford to go to school?

Sunday, June 21, 2009


i used to think that some things where tmi- too much information, like describing bodily functions. i didn't like the smell of urine in preschool classrooms. well this is all part of my life now. the yucky kiddie bathroom. i have no idea what they do in there. but it needs to be cleaned every 20 minutes. i am happy though that the bathroom is used! i don't have to be so involved in there business. ok so there is tushy wiping. i would rather that than change a million diapers. the worst thing is either potty training or dealing with a toddler who likes to rip off his diaper and play with the contents. i never thought that i would yell don't shmear your sisters #2! or don't play with your own! if i have to deal with random stools and wet areas i might as well be potty training.

potty training isn't for the faint hearted. pull ups didn't really work for me. they are good in the beginning. like if dd decided that she wanted to try to use the toilet when we were out of the house. i could just pull it up and down. in the house i tried to her the child go bottomless. it did the trick. and the child made some interesting tricks on the way of being potty trained. i got used to puddles and cute little piles that were easy to clean. if i have to deal with it, it might as well be easy to clean! i used to think that my child had to be ready to train. it dragged out with y he winded up training himself when he was 3 years old and 3 months. he knew where the potty was and he decided to use it. finally! i tried getting him trained by 3 lol! not fun. accident after accident. he was trained at home for #1 but not for 2. also at gan he was trained for #1. i was so used to washing underwear in the sink that i considered using cloth diapers. dh talked me out of it. well any way i decided to go back to diapers for y. so he trained himself when he got older.

with d i knew that she was ready she really wanted to use the bathroom. but i knew that she would have problems in camp, so i waited until she was home in the summer. we had potty training boot camp. it wasn't only for her. dh and i had to learn elimination communication. i never thought that i could be so in tune with a child. i learned when she needed to be taken to the bathroom. i also learned what she needed to do there. we still have to do this. you need to go go! ok i'll take you. i wish i figures out how to train her for the night. a diaper a day isn't the end of the world. i think that i will buy a toy and tell her that she will get if if she is dry for a week. it worked for y.

i never thought that i would take an interest in what was made in a diaper, or out of it. dh and i discuss the contents of it. not to be gross but i want to know if the baby is sick. or if it was a corny diaper. red velvet cake makes interesting diapers.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

i did it!

i don't know why i have such a fear of taking everyone out at the same time. i did it when there was only 3 now instead of 1 kid in the stroller i have 2. i walked almost every day. i went to Manhattan- ok i had to dh needed something so i was forced to go. no not that way. i was given the push that i needed to attempt to get out of the house. no - mental push. lol! i have a mental block thinking that it will be hard or that i don't have the energy to go somewhere. but i know that i am capable of doing it. i always walk home. ok so i cheat and take a taxi when i could have walked. but then i justify it if i walked it would take 30 minutes and then everything would be over. taking a taxi only takes 5 minutes.

the kids thought that there was school today so y picked out his clothes and got dressed. d also wanted to get dressed. it made my life easier i only had 2 left to get dressed. my plan was to go get ice cream and buy a birthday present for an upershernish that we are iy'h going to go to tomorrow. y said can we to the museum? hm. let me think about that why not? i was thinking about trying it. i took the kids to the park and shopping on the avenue. why don't we try it? the kids walked really nicely over there, no complaining or kvechting.

they said there would be kosher food in the cafeteria. last time i went they did have food. i brought along some cookies and crakers. oops they didn't have anything substantial to eat. i bought them chips and a banana and pepsi. they were really happy with that.

everything started out ok. they listened to me. stay as a group no running off.... we went around the exihbits. i really should take my 2 yearold during the week. he would love it! my baby got kvechty he wanted to sleep. i had to run after d. she did not want to listen, then y started to not listen so well. i tried to stick it out but then i decided that the museum was closing soon. i might as well go home. they had to learn how to listen. they walked home. i told them that if we walked home nicely they would get a treat. nicely means holding on to the stroller, no complaining, no dawdling. they all got a treat.

we did it!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009


freedom, well sort of. this past sunday dh and i decided to split up. i took the 2 oldest kids to the Manhattan children's museum and dh took the baby and toddler to a wine and cheese tasting.
it was nice to leave the house without a stroller, not to worry about taking a bus; i have to fold my stroller and make sure that my baby can stand up, not walk away, make it up the stairs, get everything on the bus without harming any bystanders and pay, and not lose the metro card. so with 2 big kids its a mechaya! i just have to hold their hands! thank g-d dh is very into the kids being able to walk. if you are over 3 you have to learn how to walk. and no stroller if you are older.
my kids loved the subway, that was one of the highlights of the trip! we made it to the museum they had a great time. we were closer to another subway stop so we went the other direction. i saw a gymboree! i saw something online that i wanted to get. there was a sale going on. 30% off it was only online or if you printed out a coupon. since i joined the *printer of the month club. i didn't have a printer i went in the store to check it out. there was a video in the back. y was really happy! i was happy that my kids could sit down and be occupied and not whine about life. the store was happy, i would be spending money there now that i could shop in peace and quiet! i got 3 matching vests and a shirt and tights! score everything turned out to be the original price of one vest! i love shopping! dd fell asleep in the store i had to hold her while i paid. she woke up afterward.
we got some hair things for dd! yay! she lets me put things in her hair now! she doesn't scream like i'm trying to find out where the wmds are. i could work for gitmo according to her. wow me singing and brushing her hair it could make a 3 year old lose it. with a little patience -3 years- she now lets me make her into a pretty princes, and not look like a ragamuffin. we had a great time in the store. y enjoyed picking things out for his sister. lol! he has good taste.
we walked 10 blocks to another subway stop. the kids liked walking, i enjoyed walking down the uws. i finally go to the stage that i could leave the house and go where i want! ok so maybe not exactly what i want. but close enough!
dh took the other 2 to a wine and cheese tasting. he got to taste a lot of nice wine, and the 2 year old enjoyed the cheese and crackers.

* we bought a printer y broke it after a week or so. we bought another printer, it lasted a day. he went to zeide, he almost broke that printer. so i call it printer of the month club

Monday, May 11, 2009

american idol

i don't really watch american idol. i only watch the reruns of the tryouts. it is really funny to watch the people who think that they have the greatest voices and they do not. where was their family? how come they were allowed to humiliate themselves? having an ego is good, but these people really thought that they can be the next kelly clarkson. i do not have that problem. i have my very own simon and paula. any time i try to sing my kids tell me, mommy please stop! no! don't sing! ok. ok. i get the point. i will not try out for american idol.

Sunday, May 3, 2009


music can be a wonderful thing it can enhance your life. or it can ruin you day. right now it is sefira where i can't listen to music, b/c we are mourning the 24,000 students of rabbi akiva who passed away b/c of lack of ahavas yisroel. so no life music or anything with instruments. i listen to acapella music. it sounds really good i'm enjoying the music too much! it sounds so good. shouldn't sefira be hard? that we should remember what happened? but music makes such a difference it puts cranky kids into to a better mood- also a cranky mommy!-

music can ruin your day or night if its not your own. my neighbors put on the most annoying music, sreachy country music whenever i want to take a nap. last night someone decided that 1-5 am was a really good time for a loud party. ahhh! i went to bed early thinking that i will get a good nights sleep. yeah right. i thought about calling 311 but i couldn't tell where the music was coming from. i was tempted to get dressed and go through the building to see where it came from, but then i realised that i share a courtyard with another building. thank g-d i fell asleep, and i slept in!

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

precious moments

precious moments, what else can i call it? my baby is asleep on me now. i can't get anything done. i need to put the laundry away, make the beds, cook supper, clean the house...... i look at pictures of my oldest who is 5! wow time flew by so fast, where did my baby go? who is this kid? how do i know you? i look at my daughter, where is my baby? your going to be 4 in the summer? i miss my baby girl. well baby not the colic and the screaming and tantrums. i like who she is now. there is a light at the end of the tunnel of difficult babies and toddlers. - i hope that she will be an easy teenager, please G-d!-

i was in survival mode let us end the day in one piece! every moment felt like eternity, and also flashed by. i'm glad that i can redo it all again. i am trying to be in the moment, to realize that time can go by so fast. even though it feels like its really hard now. i will miss it. i will have many years where i will be able to get everything done, to have a perfect house with cooked suppers everynight. but this moment i will not be able to get back again. sooner than i think my baby will be a grown up.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

5, almost

WOW y is 5! the time flew! i remember when he was supposed to come. he took his time. a day before i was going to be induced he started to make his way out. it took a pretty long time for it to be over. i saw his blond hair and blue eyes, i thought that there was a mistake. me, have a child with blond hair and blue eyes? weird. well i got to know y. he looks like me. well the male version of me. time really went by fast. h used to be a blob that cried and wanted to eat. now he is a person who cries and wants to eat. he also can say what is on his mind. happy birthday y!

Friday, March 27, 2009

i think of things to write when i'm out of the house or trying to fall asleep. how come all the best discussions happen at bad times? dh and i where talking about life. it was really fun. but it happened at 2 am. pesach is closer than i want it to be. we should have been cleaning. no we weren't we were talking. it was great to talk as adults. the subject wasn't kids or the color and exact description of bowel movements. something i never thought that i would describe in such detail. but politics and the world. hey i do have a brain. i am not a shackled women who is enslaved tied down by nursing. (there is an article about this. a little bit pregnant links to it) wait sometimes i do feel tied down. but then i tell dh bye, i have to go do errands. i like to keep up on current events. i read newspapers, nothing else to do on shabbos, when i'm nursing... i read the drudge report, nothing else to do while nursing. i keep up with imamother, facebook, cafemom... nothing else to do while nursing. wait maybe i am shackled!? i have a baby and that is what they do. they need to eat. i know that all too soon he will be a toddler. i have to enjoy this time with him.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

sleep part 2

i should have asked for moshiach! i got what i wanted i got sleep. i also got a fever and a sore throat. i was in bed as soon as my dh came home. i slept from 1-6 i was up for a bit and then went back to sleep. i slept the whole night. then next day i still was feverish. i had an upset stomach, fun. atleast is wasn't anything else. my other flu is 3 months old. i guess this time it really was the flu, or something else that really wasn't all that fun. it was nice sleeping the whole day and night and part of the next day and knowing that tatty is with the kids. thank g-d he let me sleep. i was annoyed that it had to happen the sunday before purim. i wanted to make hamentashen with the kids. tannis esther i didn't have to fast because i was nursing. thank g-d i started to feel better in the afternoon i made mishalach manos with them. they were very helpful, after wwe got over the fact that we are not eatin the nash we are giving it to our friends. they got to taste the granola bars and apples and of course the candy. even m my 21 month old helped me! i actually have all the mishaloch manos ready to go. usually i am doing them and dh is waiting to go deliver them. a freliechen purim!

Thursday, March 5, 2009


sleep is really important. how come i can't get any sleep? i saw a prize for a Chinese auction, a night out on the town and a hotel room, and babysitting! oh a hotel room! forget about anything romantic. a good nights sleep is something i really want! i feel like i'm walking around in an alternate universe. the sleepless; or the wake up every 2 hours when i am really tired. i walk around with a fuzzy feeling in my head. it takes forever for me to get anything done. i fall asleep when i feed the baby. then i feel slightly better. the problem is that i am wide awake at night. then it starts again; i really need to fall asleep. the baby that usally sleeps a long streatch at night decides to wake up at 3. then at 5, 7.... i can put the baby down for 20 minutes before i have to get up those are the best sleep i get the whole night. too bad i have to get up.

Friday, February 27, 2009


ikea, what a place! dh and i furnished our house from ikea. we spent 3 days there getting what we needed. we were newly weds, we were testing our relationship. how were we going to deal with disagreements? how were we going to deal with differences in opinions. i started to shed my quiet persona. oops i think dh got a shock. i had a lot to say. we had a good time in ikea. a lot of memories, we ran out of gas, the gauge was running low. there weren't any signs showing us how to get off the highway and drove around in circles. we had to call for help. they took forever to come. basically we had a very "nice" honeymoon. we had to stay in a motel over shabbos. fun! we went to ikea moztei shabbos. we got everything we needed.
it lasted pretty well. after 6 years we broke 3 chairs. the cheaper ones are better quality. i do want to get a new dresser. we also need a new couch cover.
we went to ikea on sunday. we took 4 kids on public transportation. that wasn't a big deal. we always go by subway because we don't have a car. the problem was that there was a bus shuttle instead of the subway train. we had to take a stroller that folded easily. so we took a single. i wore c the whole time. we had to get everyone down the stairs after the shuttle to the train. then find the ikea bus stop. get on the bus.... we waited in line to put our dc in the play area. they were there for a half on hour. we took that time to see what we needed to buy and were we had to pick it up. picked up the kids walked and walked through the market place. we got our items. of course everything was mixed up and it was hard for dh to find the right matresses. we waited in line for about an hour the kids were pretty good. we were trying to keep them from going nuts. it was quite hectic! then we had to wait inline to get everything delivered home. it was at least a half an hour over there. this time was really crazy. the kids were running around..... and kvechting. it was fun! i kept on saying dh help me watch the kids. he was but he also had to shlep the heavy things... and the kids were bouncing off the walls. we finally got out of there we took the bus. we decided to take a bus home instead of the subway. that would save us 2 steps. it would take us directly to the front of our house. we just a little problem, we had to find where the bus stop was. we asked a bus driver he told us where he thought it was. thankfully it was right. it was getting very cold out. we made to the bus and we got home. i got a gift card for 25$ because i got a certain set of matresses. i guess dh will go by himself or take y again. i could also give it away as a present.

Friday, February 20, 2009


ahhh! so many things i need to buy. purim is almost here. i have to buy mm for teachers, that means 6 teachers and 3 therapists. fun. pesach is around the corner. i have to buy matza etc..... my father is coming to visit this week he has a car i want to go to costco, but i don't have the money to go there. i don't want to borrow because its always easier to borrow than to pay back. something always comes up. household expenses are always around, food, diapers, laundry..... there is always something to buy. food prices went up. we have more people to feed ky'h! save and pinch every penny. that is the only way out of this. i can do it but it is hard. i hate juggling all the bills. figuring out what i'm going to pay when. it feels good to pay things off right away. there its done. no more. phew. i hate owing money.

Thursday, February 12, 2009


every one thinks that they are right. that they can change someone else's point of view. it can be politics; right wing- left wing, meshichists-anti, ap - old school parenting, nursing - bottling feeding..... it can go on and on. no one will budge. give it up, don't bother. they will not ' see the light' their minds won't change. it will come to blows, or at least a lot of SHOUTING. uchh. give it up. stop it. just get along.

Thursday, February 5, 2009


i had some time on my hands, m was put down for a nap. c needed to eat. i decided to nurse him in bed. he ate and fell asleep. i was free! i could clean the house, or go food shopping for shabbos. i was really tired. i had zero energy. i let the waves of sleep take over. as i was falling asleep i thought; i am doing nothing, i am not getting anything accomplished. but wait i am! i am too tired to function. i need to rest. i am not going to be tired when i wake up. i will not snap at anyone from lack of patience because i am over tired. i am doing the right thing by doing nothing.

i had a nice 2 hour nap, and i started to cook for shabbos thursday night.

Monday, January 26, 2009


i had 3 kids at home. d was sick. i decided that it was a good time to organize the pictures. i needed to make m an album, the other 2 had albums of their baby pictures and he was jealous. he is 18 months old. oh well, at least i finally put it together. i was looking at the pictures, wow time really flew. y was m's age and d was c's age. the oldest were 18 months and a newborn. they were so cute! the second set look exactly like the older ones. light, dark, light, dark. ( i could put c in a nice pink outfit.) when i look back at those times. it was a haze of sleepless nights and making it through the day, phew another day is over, another day a week a month a year. who are these kids? where are my babies? i have a one year old and a 2 year old. with c i am not looking forward waiting when will he get older. i am trying to enjoy every moment of babyhood. i am half asleep most of the time. thank g-d i have a camera, b/c children grow overnight. i can't pick y anymore. he weighs a ton. ok 50 pounds or so. wow he is going to be 5!

Thursday, January 22, 2009


How come my life is one big cycle? beginning of the week. Monday is the best. kids go to school, freedom! Tuesday mommy and me and shopping, the baby is really good k'h! he is on a good schedule. Tuesday night i might or might not have a good nights sleep. Wednesday i have big plans of what I'm going to accomplish, yea right! - yesterday was pretty good though!- thursday i want to get a lot done, but its kvetchy day, the baby wants to eat every 2 hours... fun. friday the only way i can get things done is b/c of dh! he holds and feeds the baby. shabbos its not too bad i read and sleep when i'm with the baby. y is at shul, before you know it the day is over. sunday, maybe we will go somewhere or maybe not, hopefully 2 kids will be out of the house for a while!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009


time, i have too much time on my hands. 3 more hours until bedtime, that is way too long. what!? it is 7:00 already time to go to bed. ok so i have the whole night to do things, nothing is on so i should be able to clean. i'm too tired to move, i'll watch anything. the baby wants to be held. it is 11:00. time for law and order. lets see how much i can get done in an hour. alright an hour and a half. sex and the city is on. i better go to bed. i hope c will sleep at night. 4:00 feeding - 6:00 feeding- 7:30 feeding. i drift off into a very deep sleep. i hear cyber chase and m crying. i better get up and everyone out of the house. rushing around, commanding, put on your pants! put on your shirt! socks! shoes! while getting d dressed. down and out the door. phew! silence! mommy i want bati. whahhh c starts to cry. coffee then a full day ahead. i hope i can get something done.