i think of things to write when i'm out of the house or trying to fall asleep. how come all the best discussions happen at bad times? dh and i where talking about life. it was really fun. but it happened at 2 am. pesach is closer than i want it to be. we should have been cleaning. no we weren't we were talking. it was great to talk as adults. the subject wasn't kids or the color and exact description of bowel movements. something i never thought that i would describe in such detail. but politics and the world. hey i do have a brain. i am not a shackled women who is enslaved tied down by nursing. (there is an article about this. a little bit pregnant links to it) wait sometimes i do feel tied down. but then i tell dh bye, i have to go do errands. i like to keep up on current events. i read newspapers, nothing else to do on shabbos, when i'm nursing... i read the drudge report, nothing else to do while nursing. i keep up with imamother, facebook, cafemom... nothing else to do while nursing. wait maybe i am shackled!? i have a baby and that is what they do. they need to eat. i know that all too soon he will be a toddler. i have to enjoy this time with him.

sleep part 2

i should have asked for moshiach! i got what i wanted i got sleep. i also got a fever and a sore throat. i was in bed as soon as my dh came home. i slept from 1-6 i was up for a bit and then went back to sleep. i slept the whole night. then next day i still was feverish. i had an upset stomach, fun. atleast is wasn't anything else. my other flu is 3 months old. i guess this time it really was the flu, or something else that really wasn't all that fun. it was nice sleeping the whole day and night and part of the next day and knowing that tatty is with the kids. thank g-d he let me sleep. i was annoyed that it had to happen the sunday before purim. i wanted to make hamentashen with the kids. tannis esther i didn't have to fast because i was nursing. thank g-d i started to feel better in the afternoon i made mishalach manos with them. they were very helpful, after wwe got over the fact that we are not eatin the nash we are giving it to our friends. they got to taste the granola bars and apples and of course the candy. even m my 21 month old helped me! i actually have all the mishaloch manos ready to go. usually i am doing them and dh is waiting to go deliver them. a freliechen purim!

sleep

sleep is really important. how come i can't get any sleep? i saw a prize for a Chinese auction, a night out on the town and a hotel room, and babysitting! oh a hotel room! forget about anything romantic. a good nights sleep is something i really want! i feel like i'm walking around in an alternate universe. the sleepless; or the wake up every 2 hours when i am really tired. i walk around with a fuzzy feeling in my head. it takes forever for me to get anything done. i fall asleep when i feed the baby. then i feel slightly better. the problem is that i am wide awake at night. then it starts again; i really need to fall asleep. the baby that usally sleeps a long streatch at night decides to wake up at 3. then at 5, 7.... i can put the baby down for 20 minutes before i have to get up those are the best sleep i get the whole night. too bad i have to get up.

ikea

ikea, what a place! dh and i furnished our house from ikea. we spent 3 days there getting what we needed. we were newly weds, we were testing our relationship. how were we going to deal with disagreements? how were we going to deal with differences in opinions. i started to shed my quiet persona. oops i think dh got a shock. i had a lot to say. we had a good time in ikea. a lot of memories, we ran out of gas, the gauge was running low. there weren't any signs showing us how to get off the highway and drove around in circles. we had to call for help. they took forever to come. basically we had a very "nice" honeymoon. we had to stay in a motel over shabbos. fun! we went to ikea moztei shabbos. we got everything we needed.
it lasted pretty well. after 6 years we broke 3 chairs. the cheaper ones are better quality. i do want to get a new dresser. we also need a new couch cover.
we went to ikea on sunday. we took 4 kids on public transportation. that wasn't a big deal. we always go by subway because we don't have a car. the problem was that there was a bus shuttle instead of the subway train. we had to take a stroller that folded easily. so we took a single. i wore c the whole time. we had to get everyone down the stairs after the shuttle to the train. then find the ikea bus stop. get on the bus.... we waited in line to put our dc in the play area. they were there for a half on hour. we took that time to see what we needed to buy and were we had to pick it up. picked up the kids walked and walked through the market place. we got our items. of course everything was mixed up and it was hard for dh to find the right matresses. we waited in line for about an hour the kids were pretty good. we were trying to keep them from going nuts. it was quite hectic! then we had to wait inline to get everything delivered home. it was at least a half an hour over there. this time was really crazy. the kids were running around..... and kvechting. it was fun! i kept on saying dh help me watch the kids. he was but he also had to shlep the heavy things... and the kids were bouncing off the walls. we finally got out of there we took the bus. we decided to take a bus home instead of the subway. that would save us 2 steps. it would take us directly to the front of our house. we just a little problem, we had to find where the bus stop was. we asked a bus driver he told us where he thought it was. thankfully it was right. it was getting very cold out. we made to the bus and we got home. i got a gift card for 25$ because i got a certain set of matresses. i guess dh will go by himself or take y again. i could also give it away as a present.

frustration

ahhh! so many things i need to buy. purim is almost here. i have to buy mm for teachers, that means 6 teachers and 3 therapists. fun. pesach is around the corner. i have to buy matza etc..... my father is coming to visit this week he has a car i want to go to costco, but i don't have the money to go there. i don't want to borrow because its always easier to borrow than to pay back. something always comes up. household expenses are always around, food, diapers, laundry..... there is always something to buy. food prices went up. we have more people to feed ky'h! save and pinch every penny. that is the only way out of this. i can do it but it is hard. i hate juggling all the bills. figuring out what i'm going to pay when. it feels good to pay things off right away. there its done. no more. phew. i hate owing money.

opinions

every one thinks that they are right. that they can change someone else's point of view. it can be politics; right wing- left wing, meshichists-anti, ap - old school parenting, nursing - bottling feeding..... it can go on and on. no one will budge. give it up, don't bother. they will not ' see the light' their minds won't change. it will come to blows, or at least a lot of SHOUTING. uchh. give it up. stop it. just get along.

nothing

i had some time on my hands, m was put down for a nap. c needed to eat. i decided to nurse him in bed. he ate and fell asleep. i was free! i could clean the house, or go food shopping for shabbos. i was really tired. i had zero energy. i let the waves of sleep take over. as i was falling asleep i thought; i am doing nothing, i am not getting anything accomplished. but wait i am! i am too tired to function. i need to rest. i am not going to be tired when i wake up. i will not snap at anyone from lack of patience because i am over tired. i am doing the right thing by doing nothing.

i had a nice 2 hour nap, and i started to cook for shabbos thursday night.